Other days you just want to SHUT EVERYONE UP, including the annoying voices in your head.
Today is of the latter.
I haven't been feeling too good about myself lately. Things haven't been working out, and I seem to feel less of myself. As if I am too blame for everything. Maybe the world isnt going the right way because of ME. Something might be wrong with ME. How can I format MYSELF? Is it me? Or Is it ME? Can I blame myself for everything? YES! WHo else is there to blame. I hate myself lately. I hate me.
When I'm stressed I don't think straight. My day is filled up with presentations, midterms, and the oh-so-not-great-social life(includes family life).
None of which I can ignore for any period of time.
So what I end up doing is venting here, and every other place.
I wish life was always peaceful and perfect. I wish I had the brains of the smartest person in class. She always gets 100% in all her exams, and projects. And she doesnt look nerdy. But still I hate her, cuz shes a mean person. When I ask her a question regarding any upcoming exam she acts dumb and says 'I dont have notes' YEAH RIGHT!
I wish that it becomes official. Its so simple. Why make it complicated?
I wish I was a champion horse back rider, and jumped fences higher than 2 metres.
I wish I would get into 'Hay'at el estethmar' without much complications, from family or life.
I wish that I could get married and hide behind my husbands back and let him deal with all lifes difficulties.
I wish that I was more 'Dayna', and wore a 7ejab. But its not simple from the family that I come from. Allah ehadeeney enshalla !
I wish that my brothers would always be good. I love them to pieces but they are TOO MUCH for me to handle. Even the kid (now 13)
Im in a bad mood, I wish yet3adal bser3a cuz I have a presentation that I'm not halfway prepared for. And its group work I cant let them down.
Nothing seems to be working out.
7 comments:
Why does it always have to be you? :P blaming yourself for everything is rather selfish. You do know sharing is caring mo? and if in doubt blame 7azim.
I think that you have to stop thinking alot. Remember Tefa`elow bel khair tajedouh. Smile 4 LIFE ;)
coolfreak: khalas ill blame u too :P
anonymous: OK ill stop thinking. Wenshalla alga el khair ;)
coolfreak: whos 7azim? ;P
7azim is the dude who was sitting next to me while replying to your post. He's our very own, 7amal al-asiya. We usually blame him for most things. This includes - but not limited to: My messy apartment, the Palastine/Israel crisis, the extinction of Dinosaurs and The decline of the Arab Nations.
"I wish that I could get married and hide behind my husbands back and let him deal with all lifes difficulties."
yeah right. i dont mean to be a cynic and no offense to all you nice guys out there who read this blog and all, but i doubt there's anything besides spineless worthless *cowards* out there, who scram at the first sign of emotion/responsibility/whatever
PLEASE SOMEONE PROVE ME WRONG :((
coolfreak: I definately need a 7azim! :P
extint-dodo: Enshalla one day someone will prove u wrong. And on that day, come visit my blog and tell me all abt it ;p
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